THIS column comes straight from my heart and recent personal experience. I sincerely hope it helps other people. Trust me, what I am about to tell you really works. Try it?

I have had to cancel a lot of big shows planned as part of Somerset Comedy Festival. Ticket sales were just so slow that Somerset Comedy Festival CIC would have lost tens of thousands of pounds. Money we simply don’t have.

My heart felt broken, I felt like a failure and let so many people down. It has been my dream for more than 10 years to put on this festival. I took a few hours to feel sad. I cried. I shouted. I cried some more. I allowed my pity party to allow myself to accept the situation. I gave myself a solid deadline to stop the pity party and get back to feeling better and positive again. It worked!

The reasons for cancelling include the current economic climate and people simply not having the spare cash to go out and have fun. The general election hasn’t helped with our marketing as the messages are everywhere.

The Facebook algorithm means that they decide what you see. So, our shows weren’t being seen. We need to find new ways to market the festival if we decide to try again. There is also a tendency for people to leave committing to buy tickets until the last minute.

As an event organiser it is really stressful. There are huge costs involved in putting on shows and events. I would urge people who want to go to shows and events to get your tickets early, share the events and tell your friends! Then the events will be so much better and exciting! Right, back to the science behind having a pity party.

In the realm of mental health and wellness, the term "pity party" often conjures images of self-indulgence and negativity. Traditionally viewed as a counterproductive exercise in wallowing, pity parties are frequently dismissed as unhelpful or even harmful. However, recent insights from psychological research suggest that, when approached mindfully, indulging in a temporary pity party can actually be beneficial for mental health.

At its core, a pity party is a period where an individual allows themselves to fully experience and express their feelings of sorrow, disappointment, or frustration. These feelings, if left unaddressed, can lead to emotional build-up and increased stress. The act of acknowledging and giving space to these emotions is rooted in several psychological principles that support emotional regulation and overall well-being.

One of the primary benefits of a pity party is emotional validation. Allowing oneself to feel and express negative emotions without judgment can be a powerful form of self-compassion. It acknowledges that all emotions, even the uncomfortable ones, are valid and part of the human experience. This self-validation can lead to catharsis—a psychological release that can alleviate emotional pressure and prevent the build-up of stress.

Guidelines for a healthy pity party

To harness the mental health benefits of a pity party, it is important to approach it with intention and mindfulness. Here are some guidelines to ensure that a pity party remains a positive and productive experience:

  1. Set a time limit: Decide in advance how long the pity party will last. Whether it’s 30 minutes or a couple of hours, having a defined endpoint helps prevent excessive wallowing.
  2. Create a safe space: Choose a comfortable and private environment where you feel safe to express your emotions freely.
  3. Express Without Judgment: Allow yourself to cry, vent, or even yell if needed. The goal is to release pent-up emotions without self-criticism.
  4. Reflect and Release: After the pity party, take a few moments to reflect on what you’ve expressed. Consider any insights gained about your feelings or situation. Then, consciously decide to let go and transition back to your regular routine.
  5. Seek Support if Needed: If your feelings are overwhelming or persistent, consider reaching out to a mental health professional. A pity party is not a substitute for professional help in cases of severe emotional distress.

In a society that often emphasizes positivity and resilience, the notion of indulging in a pity party might seem counterintuitive.

However, when done mindfully, pity parties can serve as a healthy outlet for emotional expression and a catalyst for emotional healing.

By validating and processing our negative emotions in a structured way, we can prevent emotional build-up, reduce stress, and ultimately, foster better mental health.

So, the next time you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders, consider giving yourself permission to host a brief, intentional pity party. Your mental health may thank you for it.

See you again in two weeks! Until then – Stay Safe and Be Kind.